I am recruiting now, and it has been already for 3 months.
Am I lazy ? Am I not suitable for working ?
I got so many thought about myself and society.
I was very positive to find a job, since my mind was healthy, energetic, and full of confidence.
However now I feel different. I have started doubting myself ” Am I suitable for a society ? for a work ? “
Should I change myself to adjust a society ?
The first thing, I got hurt by getting rejection.
maybe people say ” Don’t think too serious. There are a lot of opportunity. Don’t give up other chance !”
Yeah…. I agree with it. Also I am not pessimistic about a job. It is just my natural feeling by rejection.
It hurts me. I feel pain. and I want to find a reason why. So I can find another chance better way. Also the reason will help me to be positive. However, it is hard to know why. Usually people go through this process a lot when they are recruiting. I don’t disagree with this process. I understand it.
The first step, I just want to mention my feeling ” pain ” by rejection.
The second, I was almost losing confidence.
I think some people don’t lose confidence, if they have strong mind. Also they know how to be positive about other opportunity. Until they can’t find positive future, they will not lose confidence.
I do lose confidence. I tend to look back my negative point. I tend to think about my fault.
I want to find my fault. or I believe in that there must be something I did wrong.
I would not doubt other people before looking back myself.
Yet, to stop doing this, I need to look other people well. What, How they do the things.
I need to clean my glasses to see the world clear.
So, it will not take my confidence away from me.
The third, I was blaming for the society that don’t look well inside of people’s ability.
I was angry about society. How can they judge people by only paper ? only short meeting ?
only gender, age, nationality…
Since I am blaming for the society, people will say it is sour grapes.
I became a stupid person in a society. People say to me ” work smart. “
I was thinking I might have been to the wrong direction. My age should be having kids, and be in a family.
Maybe what I have to do is not getting more skill, more experience for the job, it is to change my goal……..
This point, I lost my confidence and felt I am not eligible for a society to work.
But, now I wonder if the society is giving us a right answer.
Majority people’s answer is not always right answer.
We need to distinguish from universal idea and a majority idea.
